The Wee Wifikie - Folklorist

“The Wee Wifikie”

Description

The Wee Wifikie takes too much drink, and lies down to rest. A peddler steals her purse and cuts her hair. She awakens and finds herself changed. She thinks she is not herself. She tells her husband, who asks the minister, who reassures him all is well

Supplemental text

Wee Wifikie, The
  Complete text(s)

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The Wee Wifukie

From Robert Ford, Vagabond Songs and Ballads of Scotland
(1904 edition), pp. 23-26. Apparently a collated version,
though Ford does not list his sources.

There was a wee bit wifukie was comin' frae the fair,
Had got a wee bit drappukie, that bred her meikle care;
It gaed about the wifie's heart, and she began to spew,
Oh! quo the wee wifukie, I wish I binna fou.
  I wish I binna fou, quo she, I wish I binna fou.
  Oh! quo' the wee wifukie, I wish I binna fou.

If Johnnie find me barley-sick, I'm sure he'll claw my skin;
But I'll lie down an' tak' a nap before that I gae in.
Sitting at the dyke-side, and takin' o her nap,
By came a packman laddie wi' a little pack.
  Wi' a little pack, quo' she, wi' a little pack,
  By came a packman laddie wi' a little pack.

He's clippit a' her gowden locks saw bonnie and sae lang;
He's ta'en her purse and a' her placks, and fast awa' he ran;
And when the wifie waken'd up her head was like a bee,
Oh! quo' the wee wifukie, this is nae me.
  This is nae me, quo' she, this is nae me,
  Somebody has been felling me, and this is nae me.

When I was bonnie Bessukie, my locks were like the gowd,
And I look'd like ony lassukie, sic times as they were cowed.
And Johnnie was aye tellin' me I was richt fair to see;
But somebody has been felling me, and this is nae me.
  This is nae me, quo' she, this is nae me,
  Somebody has been felling me, and this is nae me.

I met we' kindly company, and birl'd my bawbee!
And still, if this be Bessukie, three placks remain we' me,
But I will look the pursie nooks, see gin the cunyie be: --
There's neither purse nor plack about me! -- this is nae me.
  This is nae me, quo' she, this is nae me,
  Somebody has been felling me, and this is nae me.

I have a little housukie, but, and a kindly man;
A dog, they ca' him Doussiekie; if this be me he'll fawn;
And Johnnie, he'll come to the door, and kindly welcome gi'e,
And a' the the (sic.) bairns on the floor will dance if this be me.
  But this is nae me, quo' she, this is nae me,
  Somebody has been felling me, and this is nae me.

The nicht was late and dang out weet, and oh but it was dark;
The doggie heard a body's foot, and he began to bark.
And when she heard the doggie bark, and kennin' it was he,
Oh, weel ken ye, Doussie, quo' she, this is nae me.
  This is nae me, quo' she, this is nae me,
  Somebody has been felling me, and this is nae me.

When Johnnie heard his Bessie's word, fast to the door he ran:
Is that you, Bessukie? -- Wow, na, man!
Be kind to the bairns a', and weel may ye be;
And fareweel, Johnnie, quo' she, this is nae me!
  This is nae me, quo' she, this is nae me,
  Somebody has been felling me, and this is nae me.

John ran to the minister, his hair stood a' on end,
I've gotten sic a fright, sir, I fear I'll never mend;
My wife's come hame without a head, crying out most piteously,
Oh, fareweel, Johnnie, quo' she, this is nae me!
  This is nae me, quo' she, this is nae me,
  Somebody has been felling me, and this is nae me.

The tale you tell, the parson said, is wonderful to me.
How that a wife, without a head could speak, or hear, or see!
But things that happen hereabout so strangely alter'd be,
That I could maist wi' Bessie say, 'tis neither you nor me.
  Neither you nor she, quo' he, neither you nor she,
  Wow na, Johnnie man, 'tis neither you nor she.

Now Johnnie he cam' hame again, and oh! but he was fain
To see his little Bessukie come to hersel' again.
He got her sitting on a stool, wi' Tibbuk on her knee;
Oh! come awa', Johnnie, quo' she, come awa' wi' me,
For I've got a nap wi' Tibbuckie, and this is now me.
  This is now me, quo' she, this is now me.
  I've got a nap wi' Tibbuckie, and this is now me.

Notes

Grieg/Duncan mentions a pamphlet (1921) by William Walker, presenting evidence that this song was written by Alexander Watson in the years around 1775. Ford, however, credits it to one Dr. Alexander Geddes.

The song, if composed, seems to have come somewhat unraveled in tradition; the audience is too often left asking "Why?" (Why, e.g., did the peddler clip the Wifikie's hair? Steal her purse, yes, but why risk being caught cutting her hair?) - RBW

Cross references

cf. "Whiskey Is My Name (Donald Blue)"
cf. "The Old Woman Who Went to Market (The Old Woman and the Pedlar)" (theme, lyrics)

References