“Clarence McFaden (Teaching McFadden to Waltz)”


"Clarence McFaden he wanted to waltz, But his feet was not gaited that way." His teacher charges high because "your right foot is lazy, your left foot is crazy." He puts a girl on crutches, and kicks the floorboards from his bed

Supplemental text

Clarence McFaden (Teaching McFadden to Waltz)
  Partial text(s)

          *** A ***

From Emelyn Elizabeth Gardner and Geraldine Jencks Chickering,
Ballads and Songs of Southern Michigan, pp. 411-412. "Sung in 1931
by Mrs. John Lambertson, Belding."

Clarence McFaden he wanted to waltz,
But his feet was not gaited that way;
So he saw a professor and stated his case
And said he was willing to pay;
Professor looked down in alarm at his feet,
And he viewed their enormous expanse,
So he tucked on a five to his regular price
For learning McFaden to dance.

One, two, three, just balance likeme.
Though you're a fairy, you still have your faults.
Your right foot is lazy, our left foot is crazy;
Now don't be unaisy, and I'll teach you to waltz.

(3 additional stanzas)


I'm almost tempted to give this the keyword "disaster." - RBW


  • Roy Harvey, "Learning McFadden to Waltz" (Columbia, unissued, 1927)
  • Roy Harvey &Leonard Copeland, "Learning McFayden to Dance" (Columbia, unissued, 1930)


  1. Gardner/Chickering 170, "Clarence McFaden" (1 text)
  2. ST GC170 (Partial)
  3. Roud #3707
  4. BI, GC170


Author: unknown
Earliest date: 1931 (Gardner/Chickering)
Keywords: dancing humorous
Found in: US(MW,SE) Ireland